Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Just a Quickie...


To any parent who takes the time to provide ME... your child's English teacher... with an exhaustive amount of information concerning your child's disability.

I know this is a hassle. However, I appreciate it!

I understand that MANY parents do not have the time, nor the means to make this happen. So be it. But if you do... and you choose to provide me with that information. Thank YOU!

It's going to save your child some embarrassment. And hassle. And stress. It's going to save me some homework... but truly, that's beside the point.

Anyhow. To those parents who are willing and able: Thank you!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Mommy Issues: Body Image

Recently read "I hate my Neck" --Ephron piece... and I can identify. I hate my... extra skin below my belly button, the dark circles under my eyes, and the wrinkle at the corner of my mouth (more so on the left side than the right). To most people I sound awful and shallow and ridiculous, I know this.

Because, I think people are trained to tell you you're being too critical of yourself, or that it's not true. But, in a way it doesn't matter if it isn't true, because I still think it probably is. (And, no, this is NOT me fishing for compliments-- it IS me being truthful about just a couple of insecurities.)

One day I came across a couple of mothers in Starbucks. They wanted to be social, so I obliged. But, I found they had no modesty. At all. I have had ten people in a room looking at my hoo ha and I was still uncomfortable when one of them lifted her shirt to show her stretch marks and sagging belly skin. I wasn't embarrassed because of how it looked-- and I'll admit, I'm actually one of the lucky few who does not look so, shall we say motherly, in the abdominal area (vain thought it sounds), and I still remember bawling the day I saw an imaginary stretch mark. People who own their bodies are awesome, but I was still uncomfortable for everyone else who didn't really feel the need to "own" her body... plus, we were in Starbucks, at the pick-up counter, and the woman just lifted her shirt. It was... different... and uncomfortable.

But, as most of us probably know, moms do seem to lose their modesty to varying degrees. I don't know if that makes it 'right', but it does seem to be true.

Even moms who have their kids at 17 and weigh 100lbs after the birth can be unhappy with their bodies. I guess that means the rest of us are screwed?

Friday, August 10, 2012

You got daddy skills...

This guy cuts the blueberries, the grapes... and changes a dirty diaper with only two wipes. 

Be still my heart!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

*First* Birthday Parties are Messes

First birthday parties are a mess.

My little one is now an official toddler. We have made it through one year together (outside of the womb) and it's been pretty fun.

But, her birthday party was. a. mess.

A hot mess. Literally, hot, because the thermometer reached upwards of ninety-five degrees on the day of her birthday. And it was an outside birthday party, of course, at the hottest time of the day. I have a real knack for planning day time events during the worst weather.

I'm not even a proponent of having huge parties for toddlers, but when I explained the guest list to my husband he told me I really should invite everyone, so our guest list was huge. Thank goodness only a little over one third of our original guest list showed-- we had approximately thirty-five guests, you do the math. And, I even cut out a ton of people that I work with.

Nevertheless, the mess part is my own opinion, of course, but that's only because I know what went on behind the scenes.

For example, I know that my dear, dear husband --who proudly claims to "take care of all of the outside 'stuff'" (and he does take care of most of it) took two friends (whose wives were, incidentally, helping a TON) and went to a local watering hole. At 10:30am. I make it sound worse than it is by not including the disclaimer that I initially suggested it. However, I did not suggest he remain there for two hours while I began my own little meltdown. Next time, I'll need to specify there is a strict time limit on all local watering-hole activities. (The other two really did need to see this place, it's pretty impressively shady for our town.)

Even with said visit, when my in-laws arrived twenty minutes early, the ever-dutiful husband was at work, blowing up balloons with the air compressor since we --as a world-- are currently experiencing a helium shortage. Go figure.

I also know we had two couples spend the night at our house before the party. This means we had our own pre-party a full twenty-four hours earlier. That means I also hosted two parties in a row. And I was really tired, for both of them. But, there was fun to be had at both, so it worked out.

I even know that three nights before my daughter's first birthday party I was standing on my dining room table all super excited about my own craftiness because I was in the middle of taping somewhere around sixty --individually measured and cut by me-- streamers to my ceiling. This is the sort of asinine thing I go ape-shit over. I was SO proud of myself-- even more so when my husband turned on our whole-house fan in the morning and the streamers started blowing all over the place. I just wish my daughter had been so excited. (To be fair, she did look at them for more than two seconds and seemed to emit at least one sound of happiness in their direction.)

These aren't even the streamers I was so excited over.

Thanks to these examples, and a few more that I may mention in the future, I have happily decided first birthday parties are total messes.

Was your child's first birthday party a 'total mess' in your opinion?

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Woo Hoo!

I made it. One FULL month of blog posts. I'll admit, many of them aren't pretty. Surely they aren't the well-crafted essays I would LOVE to present; however, there are thirty of them and for at least the month of July, quantity over (some) quality all the way. Now, on to August!