Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Dear Child of Mine,
We have officially entered what will be known as the hottest week of the year and, unfortunately, you are still lounging in my uterus acting as if it were the cool thing to do. Let me tell you: it is not.
I want nothing more than for you to be healthy, but now that you are full-term I think it's best for you to come out and meet us all so your social development can begin. Plus, we're all dying to meet you (I'm serious about that one).
Your dad has even worked out a very efficient scenario that will work just swimmingly if you decide to allow it to happen. Since he's now home for the rest of the month (unless you and I decide to make him go back to work earlier) and he just woke up from a nap, and I was able to get a reasonable amount of sleep last night, we think it would be best for you to kick things off around 3pm today. Not too early, not too late, and with plenty of time to get around traffic.
I just have one little thing to add to the above scenario-- you should consider making your way into the world around 9pm (or so)so we can make it back tomorrow morning, without having an elongated hospital stay. I know, picky picky, but let's be honest, you're going to catch more in a hospital than you're going to be cured of, especially when you arrive without any problems.
So, this is the official word: you are no longer welcome in my womb, you have officially over-stayed your welcome. However, I am happy to accommodate you for the next 18+ years with free room and board if you promise to come out and play as soon as possible.